For the generation to which I precede: Part 1

If I understand it correctly it is my humble duty to show you the way.

First off, if you don't have to leave the womb I suggest you stay in there for as long as you can, but if you are unfortunate enough like the rest of us to survive birth and the cold stinging air as you leave the gates of warm solitude you will be forced to understand a world in which there are no guidelines for comprehension.

Had there been such a figure of guidance upon your arrival he would probably introduce life to you with a quick and satiric utterance, for instance, if my 2 decades of attempted translations are accurate it would be something like
"Welcome, or not welcome to Life! you are here whether you wanted to be or not! you may find here that nothing is what it seems, no one gets what they deserve, strength is weakness, blue is pink, fun is sin, God's a rapist, you missed the millennium party, so just stay away from sharp objects for now and make greed your most principle action and pay no attention to the woman dangling you by your leg as she was abused at your age and blames you for it."
I also imagine him in Israeli military fatigues and an old jester hat.

Beyond everything else you come about in your travels, one particular unseen task comes early and that is your teenage years. I will not go into detail as most of it you will have to experience on your own, which I highly encourage especially man made chemicals.

There is a culminating event to this occurrence in your life and that is to be a 'badass', a term you will learn when you are thrown from a swing set as a victim of bullying, or maybe you're just a polesmoking pusscake.

Now before you look in the mirror and think a rail piercing in the back of your neck or tongue or labia constitutes a step towards being a badass, I want you to remember something called 'Canned Heat'.
Some people worship the devil, or shit on each others chest, but if you remember this band you can skip the days work.

Like a silent warrior, a canary with a coyotes jaw you will besiege your fellow man by example of a small band that utilizes a swinging minor/dominant blues to extract Excalibur.

Being a badass opens many opportunities and spreads many legs, and should stick with you as a trait throughout your life, and shitting on others peoples means to life may, just may, make yours a little easier.